Asia by Hammock

How long do you think it took the Lonely Planet writer to think that literary gem up? That has absolutely nothing to do with this post, but we wanted to include it anyway. After watching the Lions suck it up against the All Blacks (and watching it snow, thank god we did not go to New Zealand - have fun Johnson) we went to the Vietnameese Water Puppet Show. Yes, we are experiencing the fullest range of culture here: from monstorous men running around stomping eachother to delicate wooden figurines planting rice in water. It was actually pretty impressive and also on display was the rare (I wish) feral Japaneese package tourist - quite a sight to see!

The next day we headed off to the Perfume Pagoda. It smelled really bad. Actually, I smelled really bad after climbing 4km in 36 degree heat (thats celsius) and 98.99% humidity. I sweat out enough to water an entire rice paddie. As soon as we can accurately capture this on film, we'll post it. The Pagoda features a huge cave at the top that has a stereotypical rock stairway leading through the jungle, flanked by prayer flags and people selling water, snake wine and naked baby figurines (the three staples of Buddhism I am told). The main temple area was deserted (apparently no one else was stupid enough to go out in the heat, though to our credit we did buy awesome hats to protect ourselves) so that made it really nice to explore. There was an acient swastika which was pretty interesting to see. The most interesting part were the other backpackers we met including the three guys who had travelled through russia, mongolia and china to get to Vietnam. They were looking forward to their "short" 88 hours on the train in Vietnam and Thailand.

That night we saw what passes as sex education in Vietnam. They erected (haha) a stage in the middle of a road and put on a performance supposedly benefiting HIV/AIDS. Naturally it included an army man beating up three kids, two gymanists supporting eachother from their mouths fifteen feet above the stage, a guy jumping across seven kids and karate chopping a board, two gay jugglers juggling and switching clothes at the same time, a girl breaking bricks with her head and a man holding three boys in various posititions. Apparently the message was if you see AIDS, use your ninja skills to beat it up or do some sort of crazy acrobatics to confuse it and escape. More impressively, the Vietnameese "forgot" to close down the street. So all these people just stopped their motorbikes (yeah, i was surprised they had brakes) in the middle of the road forcing the bus drivers to physically push people out of the way from their windows. Simple incredible.

We're in Hoi An now, had a good trip to Ha Long Bay (pictures and info soon) and will be down to Nha Trang in a few days. Any bets on whether Ed finishes his thesis on our trek?

Same Same But Different

Steve (and Ed, except he is sleeping)

For any of you in SE Asia or planning on coming over here, here's a little info on the places we've stayed and tours we've done.

Sleeping

• Khao San Palace (Bangkok, Thailand): 325B Twin with Air Con. A nice place right in the heart of Khao San Road. They have a dirty, but incredibly wonderful, rooftop pool.
• Eagle House 2 (Chaing Mai, Thailand): 240B Twin with Fan. A relaxed place with fine rooms. No pressure to do their tours and it sounds like they had an awesome cooking course.
• Libra House (Chaing Mai, Thailand): 350B Twin with Air Con. We really like this place and they led a great 3 day trek. The people are funny but will pressure you to do their stuff.
• Thu Giang Guesthouse (Ha Noi, Vietnam): $6 Twin with Air Con. Rooms were not particularly good but the staff was incredibly friendly (gave us free internet, water, tea).
• Vinh Huy (Hoi An, Vietnam): $6 Twin with Air Con. Probably the nicest place we've stayed so far, the rooms are great and the people are friendly.
• Sao Mai 2 (Nha Trang, Vietnam): $7 Twin with Fan. An ok place with a great shower. About five minutes from the town and bars.
• The Original Bodhi Tree (HCMC, Vietnam): $8 Twin with Air Con. A fine place a block or two removed from the main backpacker street. The accomodation is above a restuarant that actually is the replical bodhi tree, the real one is next door.
• Lakeside 2 (Phonm Penh, Cambodia): $5 Triple with Fan. Really cheap during their off season. A nice place with a cool deck over the lake (though all the hostels in this area have cool decks over the lake).
• Popular Guesthouse (Siem Reep, Cambodia): $7 Twin with Fan. An ok guesthouse with a nice patio restaurant. Don't use the tuk-tuk's that are stationed here, you can get cheaper ones from the street. Good location.
• AD View (Thong Nai Pan, Koh Phangan, Thailand): 300 Baht Twin with Fan. A nice bungalow place on a really great beach. Some of the guesthouses towards the center may have more going on (and we heard Bamboo was really good) but they would lack AD's magical herbal healer. DON'T STAY IN HAT RIN
• AC Resort (Sairee Beach, Koh Tao, Thailand): 400 Baht (200 w/ diving) Twin with Fan. Nothing special about the bungalow but the pool was good and Pheonix divers was a good dive shop, as Masters Scuba Diver.
• Jungle Huts (Khoa Sak, Thailand): 150 Baht Single with Fan. Ok bungalows (no treehouses) though some others may have a slightly more scenic location. Friendly staff.
• Happy Lagoon (Khoa Lak, Thailand): 300 Baht Single with Fan. Great room, hot water, dresser, cleaning service with a good restaurant and view of the beach. A/C available.
• Mohsin Chalet (Palau Perhenthian, Malaysia): 20 RM Dorm Bed with Fan. A nice spot, bit set back from the beach. The dorm is nice, indoor flush toilets and showers. Restaurant plays movies at night.
• The Green Hut (Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia): 20 RM Dorm Bed with A/C. A super hostel, right in the Golden Triangle. Bathrooms have flush toilets, toiletpaper!!!! and hot water. Really friendly and helpful staff.

Tours

• Hill Tribe Trek (Libra Guesthouse, Chaing Mai): 1800B 3D/2N. Really great tour, knowledgable English speaking guide and great food. Included Elephant riding and bamboo rafting. I thought visiting the hill tribes was a bit zooy but if you're gonna do it, do it with them.
• Perfume Pagoda (Hanoi Toserco, Hanoi): $12 1D. Perfume Pagoda is a good escape from Ha Noi and this tour was decent. The food was good and we met a bunch of really cool backpackers. We climbed to the top, it was hard but I thought it was worth it.
• Ha Long Bay (ODC Travel, Ha Noi): $53 3D/2N. Ha Long Bay was amazing and this tour was definitely worth it. The tourguides are great, food is good and they actually let you kayak. The tour is expensive but we had absolutely no problems (and other people had hoorror stories) but you get one small bed and while we met a lot of really cool people they were mostly older couples, not backpackers. Also, check out the floating fish restaurants in Cat Ba (consider eating dinner there) and there is a 2D option available.
• Nha Trang Island Tour (Mama Hahn, Nha Trang): $6 1d. A good tour, we lucked out and had a wonderful group of backpackers. Snorkeling and islands are nice but it was mainly a fun way to meet people. The floating bar is fun and the wine is terrible.
• Cu Chi Tunnels (Delta Adventure, HCMC): 1D. The tunnels themselves are pretty touristy but interesting, the live shooting range adds an interesting effect. Same as any tour there I imagine.
• Mekong Tour to Phonm Penh (Delta Adventure, HCMC): 2D, exit to Phonm Penh. The actual Mekong portion of this tour was crap, I would not recommend doing a Mekong tour unless you are interested in authentic dances to "if you're happy and you know it" or have an uncontrollable desire for coconut candy (admittedly quite good). The boat border trip from Chau Doc to Phonm Penh was amazing and this is the best way to cross from Vietnam to Cambodia. Made the previous day worth it.
• Lake Tour (Jungle Huts, Khao Sak): 1000 Baht 1D. Really awesome fun tour. Hiked up a river, went into a cave with chest high water, played in a waterfall, picked off leaches and had a good lunch. The guide was really knowledgable. They have a 2D/1N option where you stay on the lake which sounds nice and most bungalows offer a similar tour.

The first thing I'll remeber about Vietnam were the four motorbikes tearing down the freeway each with a whole hog, split and gutted, strapped to the back. Needless to say, we are not in Kansas anymore.
We got in yesterday afternoon after a flight from Chang Mai to Bangkok and Bangkok to Hanoi. While the hogs were memorable (and disgusting), they were not the most impressive part of the trip from the airport in our overloaded minibus. Once we got into the city of Hanoi, the real fun started. Back in Thailand, drivers take lane markers are merely a suggestion; here they might as well have not painted them on. And in some places they haven't. In a cost cutting effort, Hanoi has significantly reduced the number of stop signs and they have only managed to import about four stop lights. The resulting traffic patterns is a dazzling array of swerving, honking, braking, lurching thats exciting, beautiful and terrifying all at the same time.
The sheer number of motobikes is overwhelming. They move around the city like giant swarms threatening to engulph anyone foolish enough to want to cross the street. No one wears helmets (though they do have funny conical hats) and there is no Vietnameese translation for "right of way". Rather than dart across streets, Lonely Planet advises walking slowly and staring at the oncoming traffic so they can steer around you. The most incredible thing is this all works, I have yet to see an accident, incident of road rage or splattered westerner.
We met up with three other English travellers near the lake in the Old Quarter and wandered around a bit finding dinner. The food was good and only around 30,000 Dong (I have 255,000,000 Dong in my bank account) but the wonders of Hanoi are outside the restaurants. On practically every street corner people set up tiny (and I do mean tiny) plastic chairs, plastic glasses and kegs of unkown beer. Known as Bia Hu'i (draught beer), it costs rougly 10 cents (6 pence for those of you from the other side of the pond) for a glass of beer. The mathematics of it is simply astounding. We sat and drank for most of the night and maybe spent three dollars for three of us. We love Hanoi.
After the kegs were kicked we headed next door to a cozy bar. We had just ordered our dollar beers (outrageously expensive if you ask me) when the waitress came over and explained simply that we needed to leave and come back in three minutes. It seems the police were raiding the place, but it would only take a moment. We left, they locked up and by the time we returned the place was in full swing. Absolutely amazing. Finally, thoroughly impressed (and drunk) we hitched a ride home on a motorbike. The same motorbike. And neither of us have gotten any skinnier. It was quite a ride.
Anyways, we are off to watch the Lions match then we have another day in the city and we are heading to Halong Bay. Hope everyone is finding as good of happy hours as we are. Leave us some comments

Steve

We arrived bright and early in Chang Mai last Monday morning. Jumping off the train we were immediatly set upon by a pack of rabid tuk-tuk drivers all standing baying at the platform edge "tuk-tuk tuk-tuk cheap ok you go" in a continuous loop. With our bags we went for a what passed for a taxi in northern thailand, a converted truck with a tin roof in the back and wood seats which took us to a guesthouse in the old city.
Chang Mai is really laid back compared to Bangkok, there are some great course on cookery and thai massage to do (sorry people we didn't take either) instead we signed up for a 3 day jungle trek into the northern mountains.
We set out bright and early Tuesday morning in a slightly bigger truck for a 3hr ride into the mountains to take an elephant trek. Elephants are surprisngly big... and very very uncomfertable to sit on. The little Thai man who was "driving" the elephant thought it might be a good idea for us to have a bash. It wasn't. As close as you can to crashing an elephant we did it. "driving" the elephant ivolves sitting on its neck and hoping to god you don't fall off since they don't come equipped with handle bars and have a habit of rising up to eat bark off of trees that is easier said than done. (hence ed's picture).
Another 2 hr ride we reached the top of the mountain range and started out, I am sure the views were stunning from there but we had a slight rain problem as whichever deity is in charge in this part of the world was chucking buckets of the stuff at us. However wet it was we were still in Thailand, so that was cool. The other problem with the rain is the wet stink we got on the first day festered for the next two so developed quite a fragrance.
The walk brought us to a hill tribe village where we spen the night in a bamboo hut 30km from the burmese border. The villagers were all strung out on rice whisky and various opiates by the time we got there. Whilst we can't speak for the quality of the opium in the jungle the rice whisky was damn good, and i didin't go blind. Bear in mind that we are coming off four years of college so a drink best described as one part Sake two parts petrol is quite relatively delcious. Most impressive was a little guy called Ijaah who was honestly about up to my hip. He stumbeled into the local hut where we thought we were being super daring and taking shots of this stuff and promptly filled a glass full of the stuff downs it and pours another.

Anyway gotta go watch the british lions maul the all blacks in a bar in Hanoi, more to follow

E+S

We've just finished a great trek through northern Thailand. Details will follow (look forward to stories of BooBoo and Ms Thailand - using Ms loosely, rice whiskey, opium sniffing bamboo raft guides and toys that are "super&sonic, fangle and truculent". Here are some photos from our first week:



Seriously, this is where the king dismounts from his war elephant


Ed experiencing Thai culture


Demon Monkey Warrior eats tourists


Wat Phra Kaew


Wat Phra Kaew


Wat Po


PF Changs, Bangkok


Ed with a big animal between his legs


Hill tribe villagers = rice whiskey + opium


Steve is heterosexual


Ed navigates through treacherous waters


Bullseye Bailey


Ed and Steve: potholers extradinare


Ed, Ms Thailand, Steve

       We've just finished a huge Thai meal overlooking the Chao Praya (its a river for all you coogee-ites reading) and I can't really feel my lips. The Thai waiters warn you order something spicy/with taste and foolishly we decided to ignore them. These people do not take their curries lightly. Despite my food sweats (it was an air conditioned restaurants), the food was great and included a huge helping of stir fired crab for about five dollars. We've enjoyed local Indian pancakes (Roti-Mataba) and French crepes served by Thai people wearing berets (Crepes and Co). I faired better then Ed this afternoon by picking chocolate milk over strawberry/ medicine flavor, but he still leads the series by passing on the mystery sausage (it had rice in it and was made by a weird old lady) and chewy octopus that I've purchased. There are approximately 83 food stalls per square foot and they offer interesting, if not delicious, nutrients.
       In other news, we've fully mastered the ferry system which is quite awesome. Big boats pulls up to little docks, slow down and a ton of people (and monks!!!) jump on and off. To go under a bridge, the attendants lean on the roof so the boat meets the height requirement. We used the ferry to get to Wat Phra Kaew (Emerald Buddha) and Royal Palace which were both incredible. I'll try to get a few pictures on soon, but even those won't do them justice. They are amazingly intracetly details and also huge, like nothing I've ever seen before (though one traveller told us "A wat is a wat"). It turns out we are also a tourist attraction, no less then three groups of Asians came up to us and asked to get a picture taken with us, mabye they thought Ed was Prince William.
       Today we checked otu the Vinamek Teak museum. It is a huge palace with a ton of elephant tusks and not a single nail holding together the entirely wooden structure. It had all the taste of your grandmother's apartment, Thailands first sewing machine (!!!!) and typewriter (!!!!). It was as exciting as it sounds. But we did see some cute Thai kids doing traiditional dances (read: the chicken dance). Now we are heading up to Chaing Mai and Pai to do a couple days trekking (hopefully involving an elephant) then probably over towards Vietnam.
       Cheers!

E and S

     Or so said the sign in the minivan that drove us from bangkok int'l to our hotel (Viengtai). After a solid 24 hours of flying we managed to land in the Thailand in one piece. Our first night was a mixture of over exhausation and sleeping pills. (Ed thinks we should be editing posts, I am more daring after two large Beer Changs).
     Lets talk language barrier. I can't understand half the things Ed says. I can understand even less of what the Thai people say. I've tried to pick up a few common phrases and even if I could remember and pronunce them, Thai is a tonal language. So while I try to say "Hello, Good Morning", what I really say is "I would like a fried newspaper and half an orangtan". So we were naturally quite happy to meet two nice (older) Thai women that spoke English. It was also their first day in Bangkok! They were travellers, and just like us were headed to The Grand Palace! What an amazing coincidence! And since they spoke Thai, of course we let them take care of the arragements. Well, the ten minute walk turned into an hour long boat ride costing us the proverbial arm and leg (about 12 us dollars). Lesson learned: Do not trust little old women. Seriously, all of you back in the states, be very wary of nice little old ladies.
     Regardless, the boat tour was really awesome. We were in a long tail boat that cruise the canals of Bangkok, passing teak temples and houses built on stilts. Mailboxes hung out over the water way and we fed fish for good karma. We visited Wat Pho and saw the famous reclining buddha (he is one chilled out dude) and got great authentic Thai massages (Ed wants me to point out that they were not erotic. Hi Mr. and Mrs. Bailey). The temples (Wat for you english speakers) are incredible, with ridiculous carved and painted details and wafting incense. Afterwards, we relaxed in our rooftop pool before imbibing on afermentioned Chang Beers.
     Hope everyone is having fun/or working realllllllly hard in the western hempisphere.

             Seam-ish-tiakrit


Ed and Steve

PS> I made up that last phrase

Just so everyone knows where Steve and I are going this Wednesday; in and out of Bangkok and everywhere else in between